The sufis cured me of god
5:30 pm ·
“This guru was one of the most subtly destructive in my experience, often, I suspect, for people who had nothing to do with him (he had to treat his in house disciples differently), such as myself.”
What is your connection to this guy and the whole Gurdjieff stream?
These are good questions, hard to answer without getting into hopeless difficulties with conventional forms of explanation, from occult witchcraft to reincarnation.
So I will simply describe the basic narrative, which isn’t complex.
I had a thriving New Age sequence of experiences, all successful, all very brief, until I encountered the Gurdjieff, then Gold people.
I had been working overseas, came home (early seventies), got a job in a hospital (mental ward) which was a strange experience in which I experienced a strange illumination/madness, an almost eerie/funny situation for a hospital orderly supposed to maintain outer sanity (which I did, and learned a lot about psychology/psychiatry by osmosis). I left the job finally (praised for outstanding work) in a strange state of ‘normal madness’ which soon turned into depression.
Someone who saw the depression (family relative) suggested a swimming course in scuba diving: brilliant idea. The practice (in a swimming pool) was an experience in ‘natural pranayama’ and revived me almost completely (I didn’t finish the course) and got a job as a taxi driver (all this is New York early to mid seventies).
I bought a book on yoga postures and relaxion, after the scuba course, and did that for two or three weeks, experiencing a deep relaxion. After that I left yoga, but saw an ad about Transcendental Meditation, and so went down to their hq, plunked down my money, and got a mantra, cash on the barrel.
TM is nonsense, but in my case, the use of the mantra generated the first of three mini-samadhi experiences, starting with the first minute of the first session of the TM mantra game.
The effect wore off after a few days, and I stopped doing the meditation, and never had anything more to do with TM.
The next experience was reading a well-known (at that time) book on Kabbalah, and the same samadhi started, lasting for a few days. The experience wrecked the study of Kabbalah which I have never studied since.
The third experience was reading J. G. Bennett’s The Dramatic Universe. I was in a strange state as i devoured his books.
Again the experience lasted only a short time, and after all that I realized that ‘what I was doing’ had nothing to do with what I was experiencing, i.e. the books were irrelevant, so I set them aside. (Althugh lately I am rereading Bennett for some reason).
In short I had a viable and vigorous ‘path’ that was producing results, but then in this period the study of Ouspensky triggered a regressive obsession with all the obscurities of those destructive works. The Gurdjieff people were not so bad, ignorant remnants, but others, such as E.J. Gold were less benign.
I interacted briefly with his people, and to make a long story short lost everything I had started with and was stuck with seemingly endless voodoo attacks from him and people in his outfit. I can hardly go into it, but to state the facts, I had little to do with those people and suffered greatly at a distance.
It can be a misfortune to come to the attention of someone like Gold in isolation, after you have no further contacts with his outer game or organization. As I warned SK, the bad part comes outside of the premises of such people.
From there I passed very briefly through a lot of situations, Da Free John, Lee Lozowick, always mostly on the fringes, with at most interactions of several hours, after periods of studying the relevant books.
I then had the same fringe experience with the Rajneesh people, and that was intermittent through the eighties.
But to conclude the tale for the nonce, my ‘path’ existed before meeting the ‘teachers’ and ceased to exist after intersecting with them.
A source of great frustration and regret.
Never buy into the idea that these gurus teach! Gold and Da Free John especially are vampires sucking away all potential. Dreadful monsters.
There is more to say here, but perhaps some other time. I can’t really speak for anyone but myself, but I think that my experience of the G people, Gold’s people, and the various sufis in the background was uniquely dreadful: cannibals, black magicians, thieves of baraka, peddlers of the sufi secret, etc, ad nauseam. I was told by a sufi nutcase a strange fact: that I had been connected with Gurdjieff in a previous life, and that the rumor had passed among sufi sharks who descended on me for any remnant baraka. That’s what other people thought, not I (and I deny the whole nonsense), but what can you do if black magicians are the victims of false rumors.
Skip town, that’s what, and look over your shoulder thereafter.
At least I did find out the sufi secret, but it’s a waste of time, so don’t bother with it.
After all that Rajneesh seemed some help but, sure enough, he nosedived very swiftly, and in any case, one again, my readings and actual contacts (minimal) diverged. As Rajneesh crashed and turned out to be an enlightened jerkoff, my disillusion was complete.
I was done with all of it. That was the early/mid eighties, I forget.
I got some money from relatives to take a course in C programming. I refocussed my life and brain for thirteen plus hours a day of C programming, for a year and a half, a unique form of therapy (for me) that rewired my brain beyond the New Age movement. I was done with all that and passed beyond.
Andrew Cohen briefly tried his number on me, but I was ready and sent him packing. Asshole.
Iin a way Rajneesh was the last straw.
so what do you do if an enlightened man is an asshole? The experience is disorienting. One needs a new new age after that.
Who needs any of it.
Hope that helps.